Reason #1 - M'Honey Bun
Since we were married 30 years ago, my husband has always had high blood pressure. Genetic pre-dispositions are hard to get around and he got all the good stuff. High BP, high cholesterol and Type II diabetes. He is not a huge man but genetics is as genetics does. Sure he could lose some weight and change up his diet, (this man loves him some chips!) But he walks several miles everyday and has had that habit most of our married lives.
Last month, he started to experience heart palpitations and shortness of breath. The family doc sent us to a heart specialist and after a series, no, a barrage, hmm hmmm, a plethora (I love that word) of tests, he was diagnosed with a left bundle branch blockage. His calcium levels were also elevated to the concern of the doctor who sent us to an endocrinologist for more tests. His nuclear stress test results were good, (walking might have saved the day,) and next is a sleep study.
The moment of clarity for me came when the doctor pronounced that had he would be in the category of men who drop dead suddenly. "Whoa now doc, did you just say that out loud or were you thinking it and forgot that was for your brain only?" The doctor reassured us that my husbands stress test results were a good sign, but he should loose some weight.
I went home that day and made dinner; oh how I LOVE to cook. It is my love language! Stuffed chicken breast over pasta and a white cream sauce, homemade buttery biscuits with sweet current jam and green beans. Dessert, ah, dessert! Coconut cake with whipped topping, drenched like a tres leche. Love was oozing out of everything, even the canned beans had been buttered up and generously salted and seasoned to the height of love. We were talking about our day and telling the kids about their dads appointment when it hit me. All this food that I call love and it is going to kill my husband.
My whole world shifted in an instant, it was like taking off glasses that have been the wrong prescription and you didn't know what you couldn't see. The food was so good he had gone back for seconds; there are times he eats until he is so sick he can't sleep at night. I have always taken the massive consumption of food as affirmation of my love to my family and their love for me. Now I was seeing food differently for the first time. Food is supposed to be fuel and I've turned it into comfort, pleasure and escapism. "Let me take care of you, take you away from all your worries. When you eat my food, you will feel so much better about life and the rough day you've had. Let me enfold you in rich, tasty, creamy comforting food."
The wheels in my head started churning and churning my thoughts could've become butter. That night I couldn't sleep with waking dreams of my life without my husband and my pillow was wet. With the light of the morning, I woke up with a dawning determination to make food my friend and my fuel. This co-dependent relationship with food I had instilled in myself and my loved ones ends today! I want to enjoy food in all it's green freshness. I'm ready to embrace the natural grains of health and well-being, the pleasure of truly special treats limited like a yearly holiday. Would Christmas be Christmas if we had it everyday?
With my Honey Bun as my banner and love as my shield, Reason #1 launches us both onto the path of our happily ever, ever ever after.
Since we were married 30 years ago, my husband has always had high blood pressure. Genetic pre-dispositions are hard to get around and he got all the good stuff. High BP, high cholesterol and Type II diabetes. He is not a huge man but genetics is as genetics does. Sure he could lose some weight and change up his diet, (this man loves him some chips!) But he walks several miles everyday and has had that habit most of our married lives. Last month, he started to experience heart palpitations and shortness of breath. The family doc sent us to a heart specialist and after a series, no, a barrage, hmm hmmm, a plethora (I love that word) of tests, he was diagnosed with a left bundle branch blockage. His calcium levels were also elevated to the concern of the doctor who sent us to an endocrinologist for more tests. His nuclear stress test results were good, (walking might have saved the day,) and next is a sleep study.
The moment of clarity for me came when the doctor pronounced that had he would be in the category of men who drop dead suddenly. "Whoa now doc, did you just say that out loud or were you thinking it and forgot that was for your brain only?" The doctor reassured us that my husbands stress test results were a good sign, but he should loose some weight.
I went home that day and made dinner; oh how I LOVE to cook. It is my love language! Stuffed chicken breast over pasta and a white cream sauce, homemade buttery biscuits with sweet current jam and green beans. Dessert, ah, dessert! Coconut cake with whipped topping, drenched like a tres leche. Love was oozing out of everything, even the canned beans had been buttered up and generously salted and seasoned to the height of love. We were talking about our day and telling the kids about their dads appointment when it hit me. All this food that I call love and it is going to kill my husband.
My whole world shifted in an instant, it was like taking off glasses that have been the wrong prescription and you didn't know what you couldn't see. The food was so good he had gone back for seconds; there are times he eats until he is so sick he can't sleep at night. I have always taken the massive consumption of food as affirmation of my love to my family and their love for me. Now I was seeing food differently for the first time. Food is supposed to be fuel and I've turned it into comfort, pleasure and escapism. "Let me take care of you, take you away from all your worries. When you eat my food, you will feel so much better about life and the rough day you've had. Let me enfold you in rich, tasty, creamy comforting food."
The wheels in my head started churning and churning my thoughts could've become butter. That night I couldn't sleep with waking dreams of my life without my husband and my pillow was wet. With the light of the morning, I woke up with a dawning determination to make food my friend and my fuel. This co-dependent relationship with food I had instilled in myself and my loved ones ends today! I want to enjoy food in all it's green freshness. I'm ready to embrace the natural grains of health and well-being, the pleasure of truly special treats limited like a yearly holiday. Would Christmas be Christmas if we had it everyday?
With my Honey Bun as my banner and love as my shield, Reason #1 launches us both onto the path of our happily ever, ever ever after.
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